Little Boy, I Know Your Name
by Mitchell Raff
Genre: Nonfiction / Memoir
ISBN: 9781632997630
Print Length: 236 pages
Publisher: River Grove Books
Reviewed by Susan Morris
Heartfelt and hopeful—a touching coming of age story about a boy born to Holocaust survivors
Mitchell Raff’s Little Boy, I Know Your Name takes its title from a memorable scene in the memoir’s first chapter that will stick with me for years. His mother said those words to him from the other side of a fence at pre-school, introducing herself to her son and starting him on a journey that would alter the course of his life.
Raff spends some time on how the Holocaust survivors in his family believed suppression of their horrific memories would insulate future generations from what they had survived. The choice is understandable, and things might have worked out differently for Raff if his mother had not come calling that day in the playground when he was four years old.
“And I can draw a direct line between that day and the day my inheritance came calling for me. “Little boy, I know your name,” she said. Her accented English was soft. I stopped pedaling my beat-up little red tricycle.”
Culture introduces children to an idealized version of the family: parents who love unconditionally and atomic family units that make dreams seem more accessible, and perhaps biology instills in us a need to know our parents. I don’t know, but I can relate to the feeling Raff eloquently describes.
When his mother said she wanted him to come live with her and his little sister, it seemed like that promised happiness had arrived, calling Raff toward a better life. He left the home of his loving aunt and uncle, trading it for a chaotic existence with his mother. He would blame himself for not knowing what would happen. He would consider whether his aunt and uncle might have done a better job at warning him, and he would wonder why things were the way they were. He would ask himself what he’d done to deserve abuse. He would try to become a better son and seek love from a mother incapable of understanding his desires. He would blame himself for not protecting his sister and hold himself accountable for hurting people who tried to help him. It’s easy to understand how this self-centered approach developed as a coping mechanism. Blaming himself gave Raff a sense of control over circumstances outside of his power, while scrutiny of details made it seem like if he had changed one choice, everything would have been different. At his core, Raff was always hoping for something better.
This memoir is hard to put down. We are given an immersive look inside the aftermath of Holocaust trauma, but it also is so much more than that. Raff’s memoir is a treasure. It tells a wholehearted story about a boy who will forever be a child born to Holocaust survivors but also the story of a boy growing into a man surviving his own trauma.
Raff could have continued distracting himself from his pain, but he shares a valuable lesson in this story. And in the process, he’s ending a broken cycle for himself and those he loves.
Mitchell Raff’s Little Boy, I Know Your Name would be great for anyone looking to learn about the aftermath of the Holocaust. It’s a tale of companionship for those who suffer as they continue to ruminate on and distract themselves from the traumatic parts of childhood and life.
“We…never know where healing, love, and a desire to be better will lead us.”
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